Where do I start? First time I talk about dating on this blog and probably the last….
Those who know me really well, know that I keep my personal life to myself 99% of the time! Or well, when it comes to dating. There are so few people (as in less than 3 people) in my life that know all aspects of things that have happened (good and bad) and have been there no judgement since the beginning. Miss KB and BP, you girls know everything about me! and someone else I won’t name because we don’t talk anymore and haven’t for a while. I can truly say I understand heart break after our last conversation but it had to happen… I still have sudden pangs of missing that person so strong I have trouble breathing… I still don’t know why it happens because most days are a cake walk but elas, c’est la vie!
Back to dating… I’ve been here since October 2013 and to family and friends around me, most think that I haven’t met anyone however, ce n’est pas le cas! It’s just that they didn’t….stick.
I rather keep it to myself until something concrete comes out of it and so far, nothing has.
I’ve met someone who told me they loved me within 2 weeks ( I ran fast!!! haha), met a rugby player from Alsace, a manager from the South of France, 100% englishman from England (god that accent kills me. every. time! this man made me realize what I wanted and deserved in a relationship… too bad he lives in another country), a man, I’ll call Portugal, who I found out in the end was in a long term relationship. I was so taken back and shocked, I ended it immediately and abruptly (end of April this year)…
He sent me a message out of the blue in June saying ”Je n’arrête pas de regarder ta photo…. et de penser à toi… mais ça m’agace plus qu’autre chose, j’aimerais mieux le contraire.. ça me torture l’esprit.” /// ” I keep looking at your picture …. and thinking of you … it bothers me more than anything else, I would rather the opposite .. it tortures my spirit.”
Those Frenchmen!! and their perfect WORDS!!! Dammit!
We had a great connection and amazing times were spent together… He was nice, extremely good looking *sheesh*, practised jiu jitsu, hard working, funny!!!, loved watching football (soccer for you North Americans), and I hadn’t felt like that about someone else in a long time… however there was always a doubt and I was right in the end.
I took it as a lesson learned and moved on. There are worse things in the world happening.
When I got that text, out of the blue, it was hard to answer because it brought back feelings and I thought about it for a long time before answering…
So I replied in a nice way… ”Merci mais non merci.” // ”Thanks but no thanks.”
If someone lies to me, to that degree, what’s to say they won’t again? Let’s be real.
And I know I don’t want to be with someone like that.
Dating these days is H.A.R.D!!! Everyone is so accessible… Online dating, Tinder (hiss hiss!!! but also fun if that’s what you’re looking for the time being), have you read the Ashley Madison thing? Good god!!! the list goes on…
Vanity Fair published an article recently that gives you a perspective of dating these days that is so true that it pained me to read it…. How many times have I texted my girlfriends back home, ”Why can’t dating be like before?” where people made the effort? Not saying that some people don’t make the effort but things have definitely changed in the dating scene these last few years. And in France? They’re known for affairs!!!
So I’m in a world where dating is hard to begin with and in a country known for their affairs.
I’m a picky person and I should be!!! I refuse to settle. I only have one life to live, why not wait for the one who will make me completely and blissfully happy? Someone who’ll make the effort because lets face it, being in a relationship takes work.
I’m convinced i’ll meet someone one day…. Someone fun! loves throwing barbells around, who appreciates my accent and the occasional swear word, doesn’t take life too seriously, independent, who deals with my faults, loving and won’t always look as the grass being greener on the other side… my lawn is amazing thankyouverymuch!
And vice versa.
Until then, i’ll travel my heart out, enjoy champagne and every little moment life has to offer… but i’m officially taking a dating break for a while.
So friends and family, I am single! but doesn’t mean I’m unhappy, au contraire! I’ve never been happier.
and PS! WELCOME TO 2015!!! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being single in your 30’s. ♥